The 3 Things Your Inner Child Needs and Why They Matter

August 20, 2025

Whether you’re a people-pleaser, overplanner, or a perfectionist, it’s time to examine what you truly need and how you can begin meeting those needs from within.

The 3 Things Your Inner Child Needs and Why They Matter

Hero and Confidence Coach Cait DeMello joins Chandler to explore what she calls the “Hidden Three” unmet childhood needs: security, approval, and control.
These ever-present necessities drive so many of our choices in adulthood, and Cait explains how these core motivators shape our approach to our relationships, careers, and self-worth practices.
Whether you’re a people-pleaser, overplanner, or a perfectionist, it’s time to examine what you truly need and how you can begin meeting those needs from within.

What You Will Learn

  • [00:08:18] Why the need for security, approval, or control often originates in childhood
  • [00:09:19] How to spot when your actions are out of alignment with your truest self
  • [00:12:30] The ways people-pleasing and perfectionism relate to approval or control
  • [00:14:52] Why the control response often forms when we lacked approval or security
  • [00:19:30] How a dysregulated nervous system can block us from receiving helpful insight
  • [00:23:00] How small daily habits (like rushing through your morning) reveal dysregulation
  • [00:29:30] What each unmet need is really trying to get — and how to offer it to yourself
  • [00:42:30] A simple self-inquiry prompt to reveal which core motivator is running the show

Resources Mentioned

  • The Hidden 3 Workbook by Cait DeMello
  • A Self-Discovery Workbook to Finally Understand Why You Feel Stuck and What To Do About IT

Let’s Connect!

Cait DeMello

Chandler Stroud
Website: https://healingheroespodcast.com

Mixing, editing and show notes provided by Next Day Podcast.

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