Invention With Lea Morgan

Invention

AUTHOR: LEA MORGAN | VISIT WEBSITE

When I was little, I used to dream of a contraption that would place a device on my finger (like modern-day fingertip pulse monitors) and an attached device on someone else’s finger, so they could feel exactly how I felt. I knew it would be a useful invention to diagnose illness, but my craving for it came from a place of wanting others to understand my abundance of emotional confusion.

I’m a feeler. Always have been. As a little girl I didn’t understand how other people could seem to handle situations that seemed so overwhelming for me. I enjoyed long stretches of being alone in my room – tidying things up to assuage my internal confusion, communing with my stuffed animals (energetically non-intrusive companions) and listening to music. I never felt lonely, just peaceful. I really didn’t want anyone to come in or interact with me in any way. I could find a place of emotional stasis there.

When overwhelmed with emotion, I would lie flat out on my bed and stretch my arms and legs in opposite directions while imagining energy flying out of my hands and feet. It’s like I knew there was too much in me to handle and wanted to release it. In retrospect, it was an instinctively ingenious solution, but didn’t keep these episodes from returning.

I know now that I was taking in more stimuli from my environment than is common. As an empath, with no understanding of how to shut off incoming energy, I was taking on the emotional activity of everyone I came into contact with. And, as a cross-realm communicator, I was getting information from non-physical beings that was getting all jumbled up with my own stuff. Ugh. I have so much compassion for that little girl now. She was just trying to keep it all together will loads of information flying in all the time. Thus began a life of emotional ‘management’ trial and error.

The solutions I’ve found have occurred so organically and over such a long period of time, it’s challenging for me to remember each and every one. Downtime is extremely important for my constitution. Consciously breathing has been a lifesaver. Yoga and long walks outside calm my nervous system. Animals are unconditionally loving, excess energy sponges and companions whose states of being are never invading. (Replacing those stuffed animals!) While I’ve backed off a bit with my need to keep my external environment tidy and organized, it is still a real way to make a safe space for my internal free-flowing nature. Sleep is essential. Meditation can bring me back to calmness. Being in water is an amazingly stabilizing activity. And, learning to consciously create an energy barrier around myself and cut the energetic cords I feel when I’m attached to someone else can make an unbelievable difference in my wellbeing.

I’ve gone through periods of forcing myself to interact with the world in the ways I’ve felt other people are able to. I’ve spent time totally isolated and frustrated with my seeming inability to endure exposure to external forces. Now, I’ve found a balance that works for me. Accepting and living according to my individual nature has been the key.

It’s raining today and I have the day off. I’m going to stay in this cozy home I have and follow my instincts on what I need at any given moment. Tomorrow, I’ll be back out in the world doing a job I enjoy with people whose energy I won’t take on, but rather exist beside and appreciate. And, I don’t need anyone to understand how I feel. I understand it now. I’ve come a long way.