Breaking Free from Self-Sabotage: How to Stop Holding Yourself Back

March 19, 2025

Breaking Free from Self-Sabotage: How to Stop Holding Yourself Back

Author: Brianna Jovahn

Have you ever set a goal, felt excited about it, and then somehow found yourself procrastinating, making excuses, or giving up before you even got started? That’s self-sabotage—when you unconsciously create obstacles that prevent you from achieving what you truly desire.

Self-sabotage isn’t about laziness or lack of willpower. It’s often rooted in fear, limiting beliefs, or past experiences that make success feel uncomfortable. The good news? You can break the cycle and step into your full potential.

Why Do We Self-Sabotage?

Self-sabotage can show up in many ways—procrastination, perfectionism, negative self-talk, or even pushing people away. But at its core, it’s a defense mechanism. It often stems from:

  • Fear of failure – "If I don’t try, I can’t fail."
  • Fear of success – "What if I achieve my goal and can’t maintain it?"
  • Low self-worth – "I don’t deserve good things."
  • Comfort zone attachment – "Change is scary, even if I want it."
  • Past conditioning – "I’ve always struggled, so I expect things to be hard."

Your mind wants to protect you from disappointment, so it creates subtle resistance to change—even when that change is something you want.

How to Overcome Self-Sabotage

  1. Recognize Your Patterns

The first step to breaking self-sabotage is awareness. Notice how you get in your own way.

Ask yourself:

  • Do I procrastinate when it’s time to take action?
  • Do I overthink and talk myself out of things?
  • Do I downplay my skills or abilities?
  • Do I start strong but give up easily?

Once you identify your patterns, you can begin to shift them.

  1. Challenge Your Limiting Beliefs

Often, self-sabotage is fueled by old stories that no longer serve you. Question them.

Instead of:
🚫 “I’m not good enough.”
✅ Try: “I am capable of learning and growing.”

Instead of:
🚫 “Success isn’t for people like me.”
✅ Try: “I deserve to thrive just like anyone else.”

Your mindset shapes your reality. Shift your inner dialogue, and you’ll start to see external changes.

  1. Take Small, Consistent Steps

Self-sabotage thrives in overwhelm. If a goal feels too big, break it down. Instead of aiming for perfection, focus on progress.

Ask yourself:

  • What is one small action I can take today?
  • How can I move forward without overthinking?
  • Can I commit to just 5 minutes of effort?

Small, intentional steps lead to lasting change.

  1. Hold Yourself Accountable (With Compassion)

Accountability is key, but it doesn’t mean beating yourself up. If you notice yourself slipping into old habits, pause, reflect, and reset—without judgment.

💡 Tip: Share your goals with a friend, coach, or journal your progress. Having a support system makes it easier to stay on track.

  1. Visualize Your Success

Instead of focusing on fear, visualize how it will feel when you achieve your goal. Picture yourself succeeding, thriving, and enjoying the rewards of your efforts.

  • How will you feel when you accomplish what you’ve been holding back on?
  • What will change in your life when you stop self-sabotaging?
  • What kind of person do you become when you fully step into your power?

Train your mind to expect success instead of resistance.

Final Thoughts: You Deserve to Win

Self-sabotage is simply fear in disguise. But you are stronger than your fears. By becoming aware of your patterns, shifting your mindset, and taking intentional action, you can break free from the cycle and step fully into your potential.

The next time you catch yourself hesitating, ask:

"Am I protecting myself, or am I holding myself back?"

Then choose to move forward—because you deserve the life you’re trying to create. 💫